Volume One, Chapter 17, Born Again, 1989 (part two)
The pure authoritative truth was the presence of God. He opened my eyes. “God is real” was the answer. The surprising, unquestionable gift from God at that moment was His truth, which He allowed me to believe. I was overrun by God’s Holy Spirit; His presence was made alive within me. The authentic power of certainty was given to me. My confusion was dispelled.
God had always been there, but He chose then to make Himself known. He chose then to vigorously draw me to Himself and let me know He was real. In one moment of my looking up, He made me aware and took me to Himself.
I lowered my eyes; I wasn’t looking but seeing how the huge spellbound moment came flooding into my life. It brought happy, gentle, loving support. My misguided thinking began its crash downward. The clearing away of my confusion was far and wide. I was given peace with a force.
Simple clarity carried thoughts to my lips. It’s all about God, and that was followed with, of course, God is beyond all I can see or imagine, followed by God is real, and He just now let me know it. Lastly I said, “Oh God.”
The presence of God flooded all around me; the size was so vast, and it was so frightening standing there. Those first few moments brought with piercing clarity profound implications of my inadequacy. Realizing that I had been led and taken into a whole other realm that I knew nothing about took my breath away.
I stood there blank. I felt naked, empty, and full with beauty. I was given the privilege to believe in Him. I was suddenly so small and insignificant, standing before God so immense and beyond all comprehension. Yet I knew of the bigness of His presence.
I rocked a half step to one side, leaning. My face flooded with joy and fear, with peace and quiet I did not comprehend. I stepped back to that spot and looked up. I stared into the sky again. I confirmed with a big smile what had just happened in those few seconds. I knew I was given the greatest answer to my confusion. God was real.
He had me in the place He wanted me to be in; my searching was over. The closeness of God’s exposure came like a silent erupting volcano. The gentleness with which God gave me His truth of being soothed me at that moment. No longer was I between two worlds. On God’s path, I was at peace, knowing He was real and waited for whatever came next.
August 20, 1989, I was born again at sunset. That’s the way it was.
