Throughout the last year, two Bible truths kept repeating in my thoughts. Job 5:7 Yet man is born to trouble, As the sparks fly upward. Christ said in Matthew 28:20 “lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Above all the value of God’s blessings and guidance, is His steadfast love which shines in each new set of circumstances.
A year ago I packed without making choices about the contents going into large plastic tubs. I pictured myself making choices someday when the time was right. After moving, having two operations, struggling in recovery, dealing with health and legal matters, here I am. The cool enjoyable spring rains are nurturing my decisions to keep or throw away stuff.
Reaching for an old photo was like putting up a roadblock to my progress, but it became a boomerang. My eyes flew into the past, I saw how life was filled with anticipation in the 80’s. But by the end of the decade God had taken me down to the end of California dreaming and drew me in with His love. He saved my soul and raised me up as a Christian. Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Opening a stuffed three ring binder my fingers held a very old note for a lyric idea. Some of the thoughts were complete but the fragmented words drew me in. Reaching for the muse that was three decades old was like grasping for the wind. By trying to say now what I thought of then, some vague avenues of expression were opened up. I told myself, “This is iffy at best.”
Hearing my inner voice use the term, “iffy at best,” rushed all my recollection back a few more years to January 7, 1982. An icy covered plane was being deiced and “maybe” we would be leaving New York at 5 AM. My dog Piper and I were heading for California chasing dreams. Adventure was a huge “iffy” situation.
Going even further back I thought of my first love and how difficult it was to turn from making that leap into marriage, the widely accepted traditional lifestyle. Supporting a family and carrying a thirty year mortgage wasn’t for me at that time. I’d lived through the devastation of alcoholism and divorce with my parents. Tradition was also enormously “iffy at best.”
One of the “if’s” in life was removed when I felt the plane lifting off that cold dark morning.
The Threshold, Volume One, Part One, Chapter 9 “Texas Tenacity” pages 145-146.
Then the good news came, and the doors were opened. People shuffled around hugging and kissing, saying good-bye, waving farewell as the boarding began. Holding my family with hugs and kisses was so important to me. I was emotional, and I knew I was leaving a source of strength. Looking into Granny’s eyes for the last time broke me.
I turned and walked out the door with tears into the windy freezing rain. I welcomed the ice on my face as I looked up into the dark sky leaning into the wind. I knew I would miss that Northeast weather I loved. I was fortunate in that I loved and was loved.
I sat on the plane surrounded by freezing darkness, stiffly relaxing under the dim lights. The pilot said the small plane would be going into a very strong wind for Philadelphia. We would be shaking and bumping, but once we were flying high enough, we would smooth out.
Being on the plane and rolling down the runway made me the happiest guy in New York. Seeing green lights, rocketing past caution, I sat in the seat of opportunity, aiming to cross a continent of hope.
Closing my eyes, I rested and smiled like a little kid. Within me, a surprise came like opening a gift. At last I was leaving the collected mess of mistakes and dues paid. I held my diary and closed my eyes for a small thank you prayer thinking of Aunt Jean’s words: “God works in mysterious ways.”
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“If“
How does a man stop being a boy, how can I live life to enjoy? If there is a miff will I stand still? Should I lash out and know the thrill?
If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e, if is before me, if is what will be. Will I know for sure what will be? If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e.
Lost in choices of bad and good, climbing a ladder, I should and could. If here is a cliff, will life hang on? Will mighty God send me beyond?
If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e, if is before me, if is what will be. Will I know for sure what will be? If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e.
Take the if out of life, you still have two guess. Put the if in your life, will it spell more or less? Take the if out of life, will you have happiness?
Life could be a breeze, slow before fast, sun on a lake, then its overcast. If there is a riff, will I fall and die? Who but Lord Jesus, can justify?
If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e, if is before me, if is what will be. Will I know for sure what will be? If is in the middle of a serious riddle called l-if-e.
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Another spring day just last week, I read Romans 5 and there were old notes. At the top of one of the older Bible pages were my words “by grace.” In the margin were fading ink lines marking the importance of verses 5:1-5. Near verse 8 “saved by Christ” was penned in. There was no “if’s” about it. The gift of salvation was sure.
More lines underlining much of the passage on faith, rejoice, hope, perseverance, hope and hope drew me in. Scripture was clear reinforcing the grace of God. He gave His Son, so I could believe and be saved.
Faith Triumphs in Trouble (NKJV)
Romans 5:1-5,8 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Verse 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. “Saved by Christ,” because of Jesus believers are saved from hell.
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Reading the old notes helped me understand where I was as a nonbeliever amid all the uncertainty of a youthful life. While reading old notes I relived the wonder of being born again.
Reading the Scriptures help me see my faith lived out through belief in Jesus Christ. With the certainty of the great anticipation of Christ’s return, hope waits in joyful patient love.
Praying daily with scripture strengthens the will of God.
Revelation 3:11 Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown.
Revelation 22:20 … Even so, come, Lord Jesus!
