The part time writing of my autobiography started in 2002. Letting go of people distractions didn’t begin until 2007. Being blessed with an inheritance I was able to lose one of my part-time jobs allowing me to become a more dedicated writer.
My desire to go forward was a serious ambition and it meant cutting all the loose ends of interruption. I felt I needed all the power I could muster and I did not want anything that would take away my time or concentration.
By isolating myself I had backed myself into a corner of delivering what I said I would deliver. The time had come when actions would speak louder than words. I deliberately let go of staying in contact with most people to get the job of writing done.
Another reason for sequestering my focus and attention span was to avoid the one question that was most irritating “so how is your writing going?”
Hearing myself reply with the sound bite “I’m working at it” worked for me because I knew it was true. But there was something about saying it that didn’t work for me. No one else knew of the hurdles I needed to jump over just to eeck out an hour to sit and write.
Friends or family could not share my perseverance. The frustration to relate over and over my circumstances of working for money and trying to write in my spare time was beyond annoying. I cut off and broke ties with the few friends I had.
Only one friend Ted, kept calling me periodically because he genuinely cared how I was doing. But I was too stingy to let him into my world. I politely talked with him less and less until he stopped calling.
It’s been seven years of losing myself in the dedicated writer syndrome. It’s been six months since The Threshold books have been published. A lot of life has happened I’m now getting up to speed making contact with Ted, my old coworker and friend.
April of 2014 I wanted to explain my lack of friendship. We met for lunch. “It was nothing personal” I explained. “In my pursuit to get my books published I got narrow minded and selfish. I’m sorry Ted.”
Ted was always a gentleman and quietly, graciously understood how my isolation worked for me.
When he told me of his illness and the seriousness of his health I not only felt bad but I saw the weak spots in my decision to lose contact with him. I could have been a friend when a friend was needed.
He has allowed me the opportunity to listen to the events of his life and he still cares about mine, like friends do.
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
