The Threshold


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31 Dec

Old Rourke In New York

Michael D. Rourke Events 0 0

The Threshold, Volume One, Chapter Three, “Off the Treadmill” page 47-48, Early spring 1971, Schenectady, New York

The Harley idled with a low growl. As it warmed up, exhaust smells circled the garage walls. We climbed on and coasted to the end of the driveway.

Turning onto the highway, I bolted; shifting the gears,

we roared into the night uphill north to the lake.

In five fast minutes on a road without lights, we were at a considerably higher elevation. Attacked by freezing cold, we turned around at the intersecting roads in retreat…..

The machine stuck into the roadside drainage ditch like a javelin. We were catapulted forward at full speed, flipping over into ice, snow, spring sludge, and complete quiet.

The ride was no longer a joy…..

 

The Harley lay silently like a dead body in the muddy snow. I was afraid the bike would be seen and reported to the police. This time being outside the law meant trouble. There was no way to hide or drive away;

I couldn’t stand without Tim. Our teeth were chattering as we ambled away from the scene of the crash….

Apparently the nearby fire department volunteers drove by and saw the bike in the mud. They were searching the woods for lost riders. The cops showed up at the hospital.

Even my brother came by. Everybody wanted answers. I was glad to see him. I missed being with him. Our house wasn’t the same without him.

Ken explained to the police that I would probably be crippled for life. No tickets were issued. He was right about the damage done to my back: it was permanent. I stayed in the hospital and was measured for a full back brace.

My lower back, the “lumbar” region, suffered from direct impact. The right hip bone was chipped. My momentum and gusto toward the fun in life hurt me but did not kill me.

It was the biggest of accidents in an accident-prone life; thank God it only hurt. End.

**************

The Threshold Volume Two, Chapter Ten, “A Pain Put To Use” pages 191-192,195, May 2012, Left Shoulder surgery;

I made a full circle by leaving and coming home to the empty house on disability from work. This time there was no dog tail wagging, no Ma’s voice; to accept the reality was very hollow.

The solitude and quiet of enjoying the presence of God rang out loud. Sitting on the edge of the bed knowing God was so close; I felt so unworthy and yet so loved.

His care and promise to always be with me was a living assurance. He was helping me to love Him in security and peace. A smile filled with joy closed my eyes. Resting into a long, peaceful sleep, I knew I was loved beyond measure.

My therapy ran into a snag with severe pain, and I had to go back to the beginning as my therapist, Judy, ordered basic isometric exercises.

Retracing my workouts, the recovery was going slowly, and it was very painful. Dr. Paul and I recalled that I went through the same situation six years earlier with my right shoulder. Pain was just the way it was and the way it is.

 

It was still May when WestBow Press had edited my work thoroughly and their valuable comments were returned quickly. I was stunned to see the massive amount of rewriting I needed to work through.

After major surgery and major anesthesia, I only had a wimpy minor ability to cope with such a monumental task. My shoulder pain compromised the manuscript’s rewriting.

Sitting bothered both my sciatic nerves, both my hips, and both my shoulders. And then there was the bone spur in my neck, perhaps from the 1974 head concussion.

I wrote a lyric about “Old Age Is Early” and changed the title to “Life.”

 

Life

 

Old Age arrived early for lunch, with Wrinkles and Pain.

They waited for Memory, who limped back for the cane.

 

Smiles, frowns were lost and found. All came in with Reminiscing.

The sparkle of Joy and Hope’s sound brought the best of who was missing.

 

Lost and Found prayed to start.  Pain bowed and hushed his groan; Holiness filled each heart, King Jesus was on His throne.

He rules within and above. Peace and Comfort were shared;  At their meal of great love, Emmanuel was there.

 

Life is given, Life is breathed, Life for living, Life is weaved.

The gift of Life, that leads to Life, goes far beyond the grave; Eternal Life, heaven not hell, is for all whom He forgave.

You better know before you go, has your soul been saved?

New Life given, new Life breathed, New Life living, new Life weaved.

 

Old Age didn’t stay too late. Good-bye to all Tomorrow’s pain. Love held Memory’s gate. Christ took His, home to reign.

 

**************

“A Pain Put To Use” continued page 195

 

A Neurosurgeon ordered shots for pain relief in my neck. Results would bring a decision on the neck pain and possible surgery to be considered. The nerve tests show I have carpal tunnel in both wrists and a pinched nerve in the left elbow.

 

So the players that needed pain relief or replacement parts were lined up like this.

My neck first, then the left wrist and left elbow needed relief. The right thumb repair and right wrist relief would immediately follow. The left hip was the big one who sat on the bench groaning waiting to be worked on.

My outer shell, the body that housed my soul, was crumbling apart faster than I thought it would.

 

At the same time my mom was declining and would or would not come home depending on what level of hospice care she required.

 

All this while I finished the last of my third phase of Quality Review editing with WestBow Press before my manuscript would enter the correction phases. Perhaps it would be soon for its release, perhaps not. God only knew what tomorrow would bring.

I knew nothing of what other losses or limitations of my body really meant or what was ahead with gaining health experience to put in my box of pain. But I did know God the Holy Spirit was my coach, my leader, and He knew what was best for me.

So whatever knowledge and understanding I reaped, it would be according to His plans. I was good with that; I wanted to be a serious committed boxer on God’s team.

As the program building up the inner man continued, I was still a vessel that might be used. In the gift of glorious faith, the constant working of the great Holy Spirit guided me with love. End.

 

*******************

 

December 31.2014, Happy New Year

 

After recent months of physical and occupational therapy my life moves on under the watchful eye of God. Going into January 2015, the old and new parts or team members line up like this.

The latest x-rays show a right arm, pinched ulnar nerve with a reoccurring right carpal tunnel issue which means the pain will have to wait.

The left ulnar nerve and carpal tunnel operations are about to be operated on in January.

In another area current x-rays confirm a growing pain problem in the low back and both hips.

The lumbar pictures reconfirmed lots of ongoing arthritis along with narrowing of the disks and curvature of the spine.

Revealed was the continued wear to the left hip which explains why I needed two cortisone shots in lieu of its upcoming replacement operation.

A surprise was in the twelve year old right hip replacement with the medical term ortholysis. I was told this meant a wearing away of the bone with the prosthesis attached. WOW!!!

 

Holding myself up on crutches or a walker with weakened arms, hands and thumbs is one thing. Replacing the left hip is another. But now, to have the right hip with worn out, used parts and the lumbar with aggravated arthritis is a lot to bear.

 

For what seems to be a monumental challenge for me to cope with is but a wisp of a detail for our almighty loving God. I trust in faith in His care, to every detail, every thought the surgeons have and every hour of my recuperation.

Our wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could return at any moment to take believers home. Sooner or later I will be in the presence of the Lord. Alleluia, amen, amen, amen.


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