The Threshold

In 1989 after seven years of hard work seeking success as a lyric writer in Hollywood my dream didn’t fly.  I was grounded to earth beaten down without hope. That’s when God got my attention. Unbeknownst to me, I was spiritually dead for all of my thirty six years.

I was so busy I never thought about God in a serious way. Being unconcerned about God never bothered me. I never knew for sure He was real or believed it to the point of searching to find the truth.

Volume One, Chapter 15 The Bottom, page 253, 

The end of January, the motor in my truck blew up. Hard times found me sharing either Big Guy’s or Chance’s car, with no money and no offers to work. I was alone in the garage with cold nights in that desert. There was no staying warm—only a few fires; there was just massive surrounding emptiness. I caught a cold, I stayed under the covers.

I cried from the loss of Pie over and over. I got what I wanted: I was alone amid millions of people. I was the Taoist sage. I was the lonely writer. I was the individual who never wanted to fit in.

I was weeping and reaping what I had sowed. The drive that turned me away from the factory life and toward adventure was real. I had nothing but stories of life behind me. All I could do was wait and see what was ahead.

In February I wrote less and would only walk to the corner and sit at the burrito stand. I counted up my life in the diary in two columns. I listed the gains on one side and the losses on the other. The gain side was looking real slim.

Life had paused in a void between just a few thoughts and far fewer thoughts. Any thought of getting another dog was immediately erased. To train a dog like I trained Pie would take commitment, time, and a forest to run in. Over the years, I lost values, time, and purpose. I had nothing to write or say. My words were useless to me.

I sat in the backyard with nothing but a stare. I sat in the dark garage until I reached for help. I picked up the small Bible Chance had given me. It was brand-new. Looking into it, I found it to be just the New Testament Bible. I read some of the red words, and I liked reading it out loud. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted” (Matt. 5:3–4).

In my next eighteen months: God’s grace continued the process of drawing me to Him.

After much turmoil God caused me to be spiritually alive and I believed He is real. I was able to believe that Jesus died for my sins and I was saved from the punishment of hell. I was born again and became spiritually alive by the grace of God.

The Bible tells us Jesus said in John 3:6-7 That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I say to you, ‘You must be born again.’

Initially my time was spent alone writing for several months following my spiritual awakening. I thought a great deal and tried going to church.

I roamed in and out of a few charismatic churches, but the confusion with the nonsense words called tongues greatly discouraged me. I went to no other churches for help.

My diary writing for fifteen years then recorded my changed thoughts about God being real. I simply trusted Jesus to love me and lead the way.

I was guided by the steady gentleness of the Holy Spirit. It was He, who taught me Bible truth. 

Day and night I listened to many Christian radio shows including Grace to You. Along with the bible teaching ministries on the radio I read the words of Jesus in a small Bible.  I was learning about God’s truth but I wanted more.

As an answer to prayer I was led to the most wonderful church in the world. Grace Community Church with Pastor John MacArthur, in Sun Valley, Ca. it was the home of Grace to You radio.

The church was a blessing in my struggling baby Christian walk. Learned men loved the Lord and taught Bible classes which gave my new friends and I a Christian foundation for a lifetime.

When someone asks me where to find solid Bible teaching I tell them to read the New Testament Bible and pray for guidance.

I’ll recommend they go to gty.org and read Pastor MacArthur’s teachings which can help explain the truth of the Bible, the word of God.