All souls are unworthy lumps of clay spiritually dead in sin. The Most High God chooses when He will make a soul spiritually alive, allowing and drawing a person to believe in Him. Hell waits for those who choose not to believe.
The Creator of all things is the Potter and the clay is a soul being shaped for use. My soul was saved on 8-20-1989. These are a few glimpses of how God began to change a sinner like me. Luke 1:37 For with God nothing is impossible.
Volume One, Chapter 19: Charismatic Twist or Trendy Oddity
Excerpts from pages 328-332 (North Hollywood, California)
In late September 1989, Chance and I delivered the new music packages. In his new alliance with the guitar player, they were calling the band the Fables. Again the music project tried to get noticed; we sent out cassettes as well as mentioning their live performance.
They pulled together some players for a gig in a club called the FM Station. I called the music-industry A&R people to stay in touch. No one called back. It was another episode of doing our best as long as we were in California’s music community.
Black
It’s 1989. Everyone tries to wear Black. Black, a color of mourning the death of a decade. Public acknowledgment of a dark era, the grim reaper blended into social acceptance.
Black garb, draped head to toe from undergarments to overcoats. The blankness of Black, the evil opposite of white, takes hold of every level of sight, to fill the yearly change with popular apparel
It is conscienceless, and it is ironic how the colorless color is worn to attract and make a statement. Keeping up with the peer pressure is Black, the shroud of a dying society.
Or is society attempting to relate its fear and eventual downslide through the sheer ignorance of being the part and parcel outcome of the billboard mentality, so easily swayed by visual price tags?
I fear not for this lad. No matter how dark the surroundings are, there is a glowing light guiding myself and others on the inside. Jesus is Lord. Lord of my life, please help all to turn from Black. Follow the Lord of right in the light of Scripture.
Page 329
I confess that my new life was off to a very rough and rocky start. Without accountability, my spiritual awareness suffered and was dogged by spiritual warfare. The product of a solo Christian life quickly became a slow compromising transformation. Because I was alone, I was without the assets of what a family man might have. No kids to tend to; no wife to share plans with; no one to do my best for.
I only had my selfish self to care for, with a baby’s infant love for his or her Father. Over the first few months, I was just able to start thinking consistently of sin being wrong. My heart was surely not as cold toward God. Without the blessings of having my own family, I was far less distracted by the needs of others. That was a good thing.
Each morning began with recognizing the day as a supernatural and earthly life. In prayer, I breathed the serenity of the Holy Spirit. But it was still a torn heart. Sin’s battle cries didn’t wait or give me a chance to have a second good thought….
Page 330-332
In my Christian youth, I was just starting to put on the eyeglasses of the Holy Word of God. Christ won the war against sin and spiritual death. But seeing the reality of the live battles between good and evil in me and in the world was a truth that affected me differently.
Only God can soften and mend a person’s heart when the mind is defective with sin. Only God can change a leopard’s spots. The conflict in the mind was a daily battle. Conflict roared at times between the “old me” and the “new me.”
Thank God for an awakened conscience bringing sin’s conviction. From conviction I learned what caused the loss of joy and a close togetherness with God. I needed to not just avoid the causes of sin, but to reprogram my mind with God’s biblical teaching.
I was not learning on my own. Even though sin called, the silent work of the Holy Spirit never left me alone and taught me how to fight sin.
Chaos Drafted
The Messiah came. Jesus made His call, Give back to God, love Him, He gave all.
He must increase, my old life is done. Oh! Kingdom come, Your will be done.
Chaos Drafted from Hell’s lying, evil ledge. Chaos Drafted, defeat Satan’s burning wedge.
Chaos Drafted, brought to the Living Water’s edge. Chaos Drafted, saved by God, His truth I do pledge.
No more stumbling in and out of my sin, Saying “so long” to my old life of less, Here with my Lord, with my mouth I confess.
Chaos Drafted from Hell’s lying, evil ledge. Chaos Drafted, defeat Satan’s burning wedge.
Chaos Drafted, brought to the Living Water’s edge. Chaos Drafted, saved by God, His truth I do pledge.
Old walls don’t stand, old reasons black and blue, My ceiling over time, my past is burned through.
No more falling, being wrong, wrongly proud. Conscience is guiding, its siren will ring loud.
My head was coming out from underneath quicksand as the realization of God’s determined plans for my life hit me again and again. I could breathe, and my eyes were allowed to see truth again over and over. I was in great need of help, which brought a desire to surrender again and again. I wanted the Lord to fix my brokenness. I was learning.
Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it;
